Has social media made passive aggressive idiots of us all?

Three incidents occurred this weekend to confirm my misgivings about the relative anonymity social media affords us when it comes to confrontation.

Once upon a time – and not that long ago – arguments were arguments and spats were spats and banter was banter and very often were a spectator sport, perhaps providing entertainment for some and/or uncomfortable moments for others, but remained within the four walls of any workplace.

Think about it, how unfunny would The Office have been had all those wonderfully real confrontations been carried out via email?

Suffice to say, we are all a little guilty of resorting to electronic communication (be it via text or email or other) in this world of high work output and little time.

But there is little to justify an outburst, a sneaky remark, a tirade or, indeed, a soliciting of support mid ‘falling out’ via any social media channel whilst we remain blessed with a voice, have the ability to travel to meet up with people and/or have access to a phone. 

Crouching behind the ‘safety net’ of social media or electronic communication, having vented in wild fury, then eagerly anticipating a reaction just as you press send or post, etc, is a terrible waste of energy – and not great for health and wellbeing, surely?

Equally, playing the cowardly game of ‘naming and shaming’ or displaying indirect anger in a 'cleverly worded' retort are akin to whispers behind backs and both display a level of passive aggressive behaviour that warrants some serious counselling.

Ranting emails, ‘poor me’ posts and sarcastic comments only fuel an increasing ineptitude in the communication skills of a nation whose eyes are already melted to laptop screens and whose noses are simple extensions of mobiles.

Expressing pent-up fury via social media is no more clever than wearing only a sandwich board whilst naked, shouting random abusive words to nobody in particular and walking along your local high street because, invariably, it’s THAT moment, THAT rant, and THAT image of you (especially if broadcast to an non selected audience) for which you'll be remembered. The best way to air any grievance is in a face-to-face discussion and not in a war of the written word.

The person who gets my vote is the one who says it and says it out loud and there are very few people among us who possess this talent and honesty – and us Brits are particular failures here.

Made from 50% Italian genes, my husband and his bold communication skills nail it every time. I frequently shudder at his 'neck', frank exchanges and audacia when dealing with ‘tricky’ customers and unreasonable people, but he is happy to confront, happy to say it how it is, happy to move on – and is happy. Oh, and he doesn’t ‘do’ social media’.

Three pieces of sound advice I’ve picked up along the way…

1.     Never put anything in writing you may regret.

2.     If you have something to say, say it loud.

3.     It’s no good moaning to others if you’re unhappy with someone. Speak to them!

‘Healthy, happy people are those who confront the facts of their lives directly’ – Brian Tracy. Well, you can’t argue with that… but, if you should wish to, don't email.